Rating: **
So outraged were some of the nerdery that when it was announced they were remaking Total Recall, many people acted like someone said Citizen Kane, or Casablanca. The original Total Recall, although definitely with its own charm, is hardly the type of seminal science fiction film, like 2001 or Star Wars, that should probably defy the odds of re-imagining. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, remakes, as a trend, is not necessarily something we need fear. There's a fine tradition of remakes sometimes exceeding the original, like John Carpenter's The Thing of the Humphrey Bogart-starring Maltese Falcon. Even in music there's the long proud tradition of the cover song.
So outraged were some of the nerdery that when it was announced they were remaking Total Recall, many people acted like someone said Citizen Kane, or Casablanca. The original Total Recall, although definitely with its own charm, is hardly the type of seminal science fiction film, like 2001 or Star Wars, that should probably defy the odds of re-imagining. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, remakes, as a trend, is not necessarily something we need fear. There's a fine tradition of remakes sometimes exceeding the original, like John Carpenter's The Thing of the Humphrey Bogart-starring Maltese Falcon. Even in music there's the long proud tradition of the cover song.
But let's not to get your hopes up. Total Recall, the 2012 edition, is not in anyway an improvement on the Paul Verhoeven version from 1990. This one's directed by Len Wiseman with the general feeling that before undertaking the film he sat down one weekend and watched Star Wars, Blade Runner, and Die Hard a couple of dozen times. There are storm troopers, gravity cars, rain-soaked futuristic cityscapes and an everyman hero in over his head being pursued by a pair of dangerous women. One of them is being played by an actress married to the director.
Colin Farrell plays Douglas Quaid in this new Recall replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger. He too has a menial job, a hot wife and longs for something more of the secret agent variety, and he too has seen the ads for Rekall and wonders if he can get away for a couple of hours into an action-packed fantasy. The difference this time is that Quaid doesn't have to get his ass to Mars, the action's happening right here on Planet Earth, were an ecological disaster has rendered only two parts of Earth unscorched: England and Australia. Workers from Australia serve the decadent Britons via an elevator that spans the planet called "The Fall." And there are some nefarious seeds a-doin' as Britain seems to be making a move to reclaim Australia.
This is where Quaid comes in. He knows... Something, and the evil British Empire of the Future are prepared to do anything to keep him from remembering. Or maybe they want him to remember. Or maybe they want him to think he's still plain old Doug Quaid to keep him out of the equation. Perhaps they want him to turn back into Hauser so that he can lead them to the rebel Matthias. Either way, Quaid's pretty, American-accented EMT wife is a butt-kicking, British-accented assassin out to kill him. But on the other hand, there's the idealistic, equally action-capable and lovely sidekick that picks up Quaid and promises to help lead him to the truth. But which truth is the truth?
The original Total Recall was a thinly-veiled meat-head blockbuster filled with Arnold-ready catchphrases and over-the-top violence. Who cares if nothing about it vaguely makes any kind of sense? It was awesome for the sake of being awesome! I wish this Total Recall had that kind of self-awareness. While I appreciate any attempt to make an empty-calorie summer blockbuster more deeper than a shallow pond, Recall's mish-mash of greatest hits and the surprisingly long shadow of the original film create a difficult double hurdle for the filmmakers to vault.
In its favour, Recall has exception production design acumen, and I can tell that Kate Beckinsale relished stepping into Sharon Stone's well-worn bitch boots, but the screenplay's attempt to craft a puzzle out of the conundrum of what's real and unreal is more akin to a jumble than the New York Times crossword puzzle. The normally reliable Bryan Cranston seems to be working overtime to channel Ronny Cox, and Jessica Biel is remembered more for being a vague presence than actual creating a memorable character.
As for the man behind it all, director Len Wiseman, I think the best thing of him is to get away from the remakes and sequels. I may not have liked Sucker Punch, but I've got to give Zack Snyder a hand for at least recognizing that he can't build a whole career as a filmmaker reveling the ideas of others. Considering that much of what counts as "originality" in Total Recall is totally derived from other, better movies, Wiseman should approach the idea that he should be generated, at the very least, original stories that he could then integrate the recycled details. And as for the fans out there who were against this from the beginning, congratulations! Your sacred cow remains intact.
