Rating: **
Like another release this year, Drew Goddard's The Cabin in the Woods, this remake of the John Milius 80s hit, Red Dawn, has been rescued from bankruptcy purgatory, a near-terminal condition it enjoyed thanks to the shaky financial ground of studio MGM post-recession. But like Cabin in the Woods, Red Dawn is now free to regale us with its tale, but really that's all you can say about this film on the occasion of its release. Instead, Red Dawn is a bizarre time capsule of a movie now, a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth, a pre-Hunger Games Josh Hutcherson, a pre-father's-separation-from-Katie-Holmes Connor Cruise...
Of course, the original Red Dawn is a time capsule in its own way. A call back to the last, great gasp of the Soviet Union, the renewed fears in the mid-80s of nuclear stand-off, and Star Wars, and an evil empire ready and willing to gnarl its teeth at the world's beacon for freedom. Sadly, the world nearly 30 years after the first Dawn is a completely different place. We know now the villains of the world are more likely to be lone wolves rather than empires, and although there are some countries ready to fit the part, they lack the desire to conquer militarily, or the capability.
Which is why this Red Dawn starts a step back to begin with. Originally casting China as the villain, the movie may have been able to earn, at least, an iota of plausibility, but the cynical move to recast the bad guys as North Korean, lest lucrative Chinese box office money be lost, automatically puts Red Dawn on a bad footing. Granted, if you know anything about real world politics, a Chinese invasion is pointless considering that country is literally the economic centre of the world as it is, but North Korea? They can put on a good parade, but they've only ever been able to fight their southern neighbours to a stand still. Honestly, if you're going to conquer the world, why not start with South Korea?
Of course, logic has no place (mostly) in an action movie. In this film, it is North Korea that launches an all out invasion of the United States, although it is inferred that they're getting help from the Russians, which frankly poses more questions than it answers. In small town Pacific Northwest U.S., several teens manage to escape the North Korean paratroopers and set themselves up as freedom fighters living in the woods on the outskirts of town. Leading the ragtag group is Army veteran Jed Eckert (Hemsworth), who teaches his younger brother Matt (Josh Peck), love interest Toni (Adrianne Palicki) and a group of assorted and demographically well-represented teens (Hutcherson, Cruise and Edwin Hodge) in the fight against the Koreans. Taking the name of the local high school football team, The Wolverines, they make life miserable for the local commander (Will Yun Lee) and the occupation force.
But seriously, if the initial premise didn't already strain credibility, seeing this group of Breakfast Clubers fight the mighty, North Korean military machine with the efficiency of the Dirty Dozen is out and out laughable. Hemsworth, naturally, is believable as a bad ass, all square jawed steely eyed even in pre-Thor mode, but the others were tough to buy as an effective fighting force, let alone becoming Merry Men like resistance folk heroes worthy of song and story. Former Disney Channel staple Peck is especially problematic because he spends half the movie pinning for his girlfriend (Isabel Lucas), until he puts his entire squad in danger in a ham-fisted rescue attempt. Hardly the stuff of military legend. Of the rest of the cast, at least Hutcherson is buttressed by his Hunger Games role, Palicki too given that she's Lady Jay in the upcoming G.I. Joe sequel.
The real problem though is that you never quite buy the storyline, and despite all the ADR and CG-flag pasting, the film's so busy trying to make sure you buy the Koreans as a globe-spanning conquering army that they don't get a chance to do what these types of films are supposed to do best: convince you of the awesomeness of America. There was hardly any flag-waving, no soaring speeches, no thoughtful allegory, no quoting of great Americans past. There was more patriot fervour in those National Treasure movies for crying out loud! What this film needed, sadly, was a bit of Michael Bay.
Another problem, perhaps exacerbated by the 11th hour recasting of the evil invaders, is that The Wolverines have no one proper to throw any of that patriotic vim. Lee, who's actually played a North Korean officer in the recent cinematic past (in Pierce Brosnan's final Bond, Die Another Day) seems to have barely any presence at all, and I honestly can't remember if he had any dialogue in the film at all. Perhaps every line he had referenced China, but without a villain of suitable stature its hard to get behind our band suburban heroes, and the Koreans look even more helpless against the high schoolers who are taking their guns and raiding their supplies. Basically, the conquerors look like Keystone Cops, and that doesn't exactly breed dread or drama.
In all, I can't think of a single thing in Red Dawn done, at least, marginally well, except for maybe the authority of Hemsworth as he delivers speeches and encouragement with the believability of a young Lee Marvin, complete with glare as cold as an northerly wind. The rest feels like a film that you'd expect from a movie development history of Red Dawn, basically, it's been chopped up and repainted so many times that it doesn't look like what it was probably supposed to be in the first place. Some things are better left in the 80s, I guess.
