These Transformers movies are the very definition of critic-proof. Anyone with a keyboard and opinion will tell you that the first two movies based on the popular 80s toy line, especially part two, radically redefined awfulness. Yet still, somehow, Revenge of the Fallen’s final box office tally landed just shy of $1 billion USD worldwide. So what’s the appeal? Big robots, big explosions, hot chicks and the usual “Bayhem.” All true, but how about a story? Compelling drama? Character development?
Well there’s none of that in this third Transformers movie Dark of the Moon. Actually, that’s not fair. As compared to Revenge, which suffered the dual indignities of being developed during the Writers Strike and on the narrative whims of Bay himself, Dark of the Moon is a Homer-like epic wrought with shifting allegiances, gripping motivations and big robots, big explosions, hot chicks and “Bayhem.”
Dark of the Moon is popcorn filmmaking at its finest, and it’s probably the most standout use of the 3-D format since James Cameron’s Avatar. The fascinating repercussion of Bay’s using 3-D is that he has to slow his shots down. Instead of his usual one or two second quick cuts, his shots are longer, wider and sweeping. In short, 3-D has made Bay a better filmmaker, and there aren’t a lot of films and filmmakers that you can say that about. Additionally, the film’s final bombastic hour, which makes Dresden look like a post-Stanley Cup game riot, manages to not overload the senses and makes complete and total visual sense.
The story is rather simple. Our hero Sam (once again essayed by “The Beef” himself Shia LaBeouf) is out of college and looking for work, but like a lot of recent college grads good work is scarce. However, unlike a lot of recent college grads, Sam has an incredibly hot girlfriend that looks like a lingerie model (because she’s played by one, in this case Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). Megan Fox’s girlfriend character is dismissed with a couple of lines, so that this film is entirely about Carly, who has a good job with her unusually smug boss Patrick Dempsey, while Sam gets an entry level gig at a software firm fronted by John Malkovich, who in a bizarre turn seems to be channelling Nicolas Cage.
On the killer robot front, the evil Decepticons are chilling in Africa, as the good Autobots are working with American soldiers to kick butt worldwide. The central plot, like X-Men: First Class, plays revisionist history with the 60s, presuming that the space race to the Moon was really a race to capture Transformers technology. When Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, learns from Director of National Intelligence Mearing (Frances McDormand) about the mission, he’s ticked. Investigating for themselves, the Autobots discover Sentinel Prime, Optimus’ predecessor and the last hope for freedom from Decepticon oppression.
Most of the things that irked fans about Revenge of the Fallen have been jettisoned: the racist robot twins, needless annoying sidekicks, ineffectual parental drug humour, long and unengaging plot exposition, and giant robot scrotum. By comparison, Dark of the Moon is lean and terse. Of course, lean and terse is relative when your movie is two and half hours long, but as compared to part two, which featured long stretches of dubious characterization and human drama, it was gratefully to the point.
But still, there’s the feeling that the human drama is superfluous and is maybe even really a placeholder in the film because the expense of having CG robots on screen for 150 minutes would be far too great. But I would argue that it’s not entirely true. Malkovich is great in the time he’s on screen, and Dempsey is at his douchey best as his true intention is revealed in the film’s second act. Even John Turturro’s ham as government agent and Transformers expert Simmons comes off fresh, and Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson’s soldier characters are always nearby with guns loaded, as is their function.
Basically, you’re not going into this film with any illusions. What you do need to know is that on a pure, popcorn, summer movie satisfactory level, Dark of the Moon delivers handily. It doesn’t test the intellect, but do you honestly want a brain-stimulating Transformers movie? No, what you want is big robots, big explosions, hot chicks and the usual “Bayhem” and on that basis Dark of the Moon is a mission accomplished. The difference being that this movie is literally adds another dimension, and this time, it’s worth the price of admission.
