G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Rating: **

The one persistent thought that went through my mind while watching G.I. Joe: Retaliation was that the childhood adventures I puppeteered with my G.I. Joe figures where much more creative and fun than anything cooked up by the filmmakers in charge of this franchise. Of course, I would throw Transformers, Star Wars guys, He-Man and other toys into the mix, an impractical possibility on a corporate and imaginative level, but it was infinitely more satisfying than what they’ve put up on screen. Twice. And in spire of all the different players I threw in during my playtime, infinitely more logical too.

Zero Dark Thirty

Rating: ***1/2

Even before its release, Zero Dark Thirty was courting controversy: does it glorify torture, was the Obama administration a little too florid in its support to the filmmakers, does Kathryn Bigelow get more credit than she deserves because she's a female filmmaker? At least two out of three of those questions maybe valid, but I think Zero Dark Thirty cements Bigelow's reputation as a solid, and solidly audacious, filmmaker.

Texas Chainsaw 3-D

Rating: *1/2

You have to at least admire them for doing something original: instead of being another remake, or a sequel, it's a continuation. Yes, someone had the bright idea that there was literally still more story to tell following the end credits of Tobe Hooper's seminal slasher film classic released in 1974. Forget that a movie with the name "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" doesn't really require any kind of overarching mythology, but nearly 40 years after it's release and numerous sequels and remakes and sequels of remakes, is there actually any more room left to cover?

Django Unchained [2012]

Rating: ****

Quentin Tarantino once again takes a stab (pun intended?) at revenge and historical revisionism with Django Unchained. It took awhile for Q's style in regards to his last film, Inglourious Basterds, to sit right with me. I studied history in school, so to see World War II end in a literal blaze of glory with the entire Nazi hierarchy, up to and including Hitler, dying at the hands of theatre owner Shoshanah and the Basterds was a bit jarring. But Quentin, I can't stay mad at you.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Rating: ***

Making three movies out of The Lord of the Rings made sense. It was split into three books when originally published, the whole thing is well over 1,000 pages long, and even considering all that there were still characters and story developments in the books that director Peter Jackson jettisoned from the film trilogy. By comparison, this new trilogy based on J.R.R. Tolkien's first Middle Earth book, The Hobbit, seems to be squeezing out every last detail for the movies, and it's nearly so excrutiating you have to wonder just how much padding did Jackson and Co. sew in that a 350-page novel needs three, two-and-a-half hour movies?

Silent Night

Rating: *1/2

Just when you thought all available source material had been exhausted, someone realized that no one had yet remade Silent Night, Deadly Night. Killer Santa? Of course! Why didn't anyone want to remake this right out of the gate? Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees all have brand awareness, but Killer Santa Claus has only blasphemy and child welfare concerns, there's more than enough there to build a brand out of.

Silver Linings Playbook

Rating: ****

Most romantic-comedies are the same: boy meets girl, boy and girl date, one of them does something that causes strife with the other which forces them to end their courtship before they come together again in a beautiful, life-affirming ending. Silver Linings Playbook doesn't deviate far from that outline, but it does enjoy toying with it. Director David O. Russell pulls out various sprockets and gears and tries something of his own design: a romantic-comedy where the two lead characters sort of don't realize they're in a romantic-comedy.